As an introvert, I didn’t think that I would miss the hustle and bustle that goes on in the Science Office back in New Zealand. During my time on JET, however, I have come to realise how I had taken for granted the chance to just be able to ask a question and immediately get a friendly answer back.

Disclaimer: ESID

Before I get into this discussion, yes I do have a Co-JET (who is amazing). All schools run by the Tokyo Board of Education will have two JETs from 2024 onwards and most already have two. I am lucky that my Co-JET is amazing but because the school we’re at is open six days a week and we are rostered on for four days a week, our days overlap only twice a week and we will be teaching during that time too.

On one hand, I like being able to not understand the language. If the teachers around me are having a conversation my nosey brain can’t listen in, preventing me from being distracted from the task I am trying to complete. On the other hand, there are a small handful of teachers I can talk to and a lot of the time they are in their department office rather than the main office. Its fortunate that Friday is the day which I spend the most time teaching because that is also the day when my Co-JET (who is amazing) and the JTE in charge of us JETs is away, so the time I have deskwarming I don’t feel lonely as my social energy has been spent in the classroom already.

From what I’ve observed of the social interactions that the staff members have, there is a very strict hierarchy and hidden rules that everyone obeys. It is hard to get into a conversation about likes or dislikes, feelings or emotions but perfectly acceptable to ask about the weather or what class you are going to next. Sure, some part of it may be that I am only a member of the school for a year, and therefore there’s no point in getting to know me, but part of it is that those types of things are just not on the table to be spoken about unless you are very close with that person. I wouldn’t know it if I heard it, but allegedly bullying is commonly directed towards people who don’t conform to the rigid role that is expected within the work environment, and even those who have no skin in the game will feel pressured to join in else they may become the next target for not conforming. As a foreigner I am not expected to fit within the rigid social norms, but I am also not included in a position where I can learn these expectations and modify my behaviour to fit in, meaning I will always be an outsider.

Even in the classrooms it feels isolating. I struggle with learning 120 students’ names in the first term when I see them four or five times a week. I try and can get to know a bit of their personality and have them open up to my offers of help over the year they are in my classroom. On JET I see six different classes of forty students once a week and then mixed groups of students from the other year levels up to four times a week. The students are all assigned a number, which seems impersonal, and these are used more often than their names when getting their attention or grading. I can’t get to know these classes, its impossible in the time that I spend with them each week. Just last week I saw two students standing next to each other who I would’ve sworn were the same student. So even when I am in a place where I feel comfortable (in front of the class) I feel a lack of connection with the community I am meant to be guiding. If the students have a question for me, their level of English may prevent them from being able to say the question or fully understand the answer and my level of Japanese is too low for me to understand the question (let alone answer it) if they ask in Japanese. I have tried going to club activities and joined in with other classes and I think it helped the students get more comfortable with me but I still didn’t have much luck learning names or faces.

Outside of the workplace it is also difficult to find a community. You may join a gym or club and forever be on the outside because you are a foreigner or because you only want to be a casual member rather than dedicating the majority of your free time to the activity. It does depend on the activity and I was told at the orientations about people who were accepted into different groups and communities, but once again, ESID. It might be harder in Tokyo as you are just another foreigner and the city is so big that it takes hours even on the super-rapid trains to get from one side of the city to the other compared to a small village where everyone will know your name.

Fortunately, there is a community of TTRPG fans who my partner has kept in contact with and brought together. We meet once or twice a month for TTRPG and occasionally outside of the games for mutual interests. I’ve been on a day trip to view Mt Fuji with one, to Wonder Fest with another and on some double dates too. I would feel a whole lot lonelier if I didn’t have my partner with me and that community. I know some people have had to transition to long distance relationships to be on the JET Programme, and that was one of the major, difficult discussions we’d had before departing: what if only one of us got on the program and what if we were in different cities? I’m glad it didn’t come to that.

All in all, this feeling of disconnect between the country where we are currently living and the people around us is another reason why we will only stay for one year. Back in New Zealand our community of friends is well entrenched and most live within a distance which we can walk in half an hour. I have a work community who is supportive and actively spends time socialising, both as a department and as a wider school. There are activities where I can be as casual about attending as I wish and I am able to arrange my own activities within the Reddit community to allow other people to come and socialise without worrying about the language barrier and bureaucracy to get stuff organised. I may be an introvert but I have learnt that I do need human interaction besides my partner.